


Five Conversations Jeff Winger Will Swear Never Happened

by wolfy_writing



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 16:59:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1695704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfy_writing/pseuds/wolfy_writing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post G.I. Jeff</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Conversations Jeff Winger Will Swear Never Happened

“You know,” said Shirley, “I prayed you’d wake up.”

Jeff leaned back in the hospital bed.  “If you’re going to try to convert me with some story about a miracle healing, could you at least wait until the hospital gives me back my pants?  I’d rather not deal with that in a paper dress.”

Shirley looked hurt.  “I wasn’t going to say that at all.  Do you really think of me like that?  Going after my friends in their vulnerable moments to pressure them into embracing the good news about our Lord and Savior?”

“No.”  Jeff sighed.  “I didn’t mean that.  I’m sorry.  I’m having _literally_ the worst hangover of my life.”

Shirley sniffed.  “Not that I think it would hurt you to have some Jesus in your life…”

“Shirley?”

“I’m just saying,” said Shirley.  “I think Jesus would do you some good, but if you ever need to talk without bringing Him into it, I’m here for you.  You know, in case you ever find yourself feeling lonely one night, or sad, and want to try something a bit healthier than drinking alone.”

“That’s sweet, Shirley,” said Jeff.  “But I’m fine.”

“I’m sure you are.  I just know that some people, sometimes, can have a lot of feelings they don’t know how to handle.  Maybe they think they’re not supposed to have those kinds of emotions, so they work on presenting themselves in a more…acceptable way, but there’s still something frightening bubbling up inside.  And it can be tempting to bury those feelings, for instance with alcohol…”

“Or baking?” Jeff asked.

Shirley bit her lip.  “I’m just saying, if you ever find yourself wanting to talk, I’m available.  And I won’t bring up Jesus unless you ask.”

Jeff smiled.  “Thanks.  If I have another night of…possible bad decisions, I’ll keep you in mind.  And if I ever do decide I want to learn more about Jesus, you’ll be the first one I ask.”

“I appreciate that.”  Shirley smiled.  “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go home to my kids.”

“Go get ‘em, Three Kids!”  Jeff gave Shirley a thumbs up.

Shirley gave Jeff a look.

“Sorry.  I forgot you wouldn’t know that bit.  I’m not making fun of you or anything.  It’s a reference…when I was unconscious and we were all G.I. Joes…never mind.  Go home to your kids.”

Shirley smiled stiffly.  “You just get some rest now.  I’ll go ask a nurse check in on you.”

—-

“So, Jeff,” said Britta.  “The big Four-O.”

“Yep.”  Jeff scrolled through his texts.  There were a surprising amount of concerned messages.  Professor Duncan, some of his students, the Dean, Fat…Real Neil.  It was kind of shocking.  He’d always thought that if something happened to him, the most attention anyone would pay was a couple of old law partners saying “To Jeff!” before downing their scotches and forgetting about him.

“Clearly, this brought up a lot of unresolved feelings.”

“I resolved them.  I passed out, I hallucinated I was a G.I. Joe, and now I’m fine.  I’m forty years old, and I’m fine with it.”  Jeff didn’t look up from the screen.  Okay, he didn’t think he was fooling Britta with this trick, but if he didn’t have to look her in the eye, he might get through this conversation without embarrassing himself.

“You can’t just hallucinate your issues away!”

“Works for Abed.”

“You’re not Abed.”  Britta put a hand on Jeff’s, making him look up.  “And I don’t want something like this to happen again.  I think you need someone to talk things out with before things…”

“Britta,” said Jeff, looking up from his phone.  “I appreciate this, but I already did the therapy thing.”

“Yeah, and they obviously didn’t finish the job.  You need more.”

“With who?  You?”

Britta took her hands away.  “No, Abed’s about my limit.  You should probably start up again with your old therapist.  Or maybe a better one?  Yours was kind of crappy.”

“I can’t,” said Jeff.  “I can’t afford it.  I blew all of my money on my failed attempt to be a do-gooder lawyer, and I couldn’t afford to keep going to sessions.”

“Is that the problem?” asked Britta.  “You know I know like every free and low-cost medical resource in town, right?  That zine I did for the Anarchist Collective?  I gave you a copy when we were sleeping together.  You said it was great.”

“I…yeah.”  Jeff blinked.  “That.”  He’d taken it to school and thrown it away where Britta wouldn’t see him doing it.  “I’m not sure if I want to do some weird bargain therapy for poor people and hippies.” 

“Because your experience with high-cost therapy for rich yuppies went so well?”

“Okay, good point.”  Jeff glanced down at his phone.  “If…you wanted to give me another copy of that zine, I’ll…think about it.”  That would get Britta off his back, and he could always throw it away again when she wasn’t looking.

Okay, he _might_ check it out first.

—-

“Jeff, do we need to do a Very Special Episode for you?”

Jeff nearly choked on his Jello.  “What?”

“You know, a Very Special Episode.  A normally light-hearted and quirky group discovers someone they care about has a serious problem, and they devote themselves to addressing it.”

“Abed, I’m fine!”  Jeff dropped the spoon.  “They’re just keeping me for observation at this point.  They should let me out in the morning.”

“You sat alone in your office taking mystery pills and drinking an entire bottle of scotch.  That’s not a sign of good mental health.”

“Wait, _you’re_ worried about _my_ mental health?”

“I know,” said Abed.  “It’s ironic.”

“And terrifying.”  Jeff looked up at Abed.  “No offense.”

“None taken,” Abed replied.  “I do hallucinate a lot.”

“Yeah,” said Jeff.  “Are you seeing someone about that?”

“Britta.”

“Someone qualified?”

“Someone qualified didn’t help you.”

Jeff sighed.  “They kind of did.”

“Then why’d you stop?”

“I ran out of money.  Britta’s going to get me a list of free ones, if you want to borrow it.”

Abed stared for a long moment.  “Can I quit if it feels like they’re trying to control me?”

“You’re an adult now.  You can do whatever you want.”

“Okay, then maybe.  How about you?”

“Yeah, I guess.”  He probably would.  In a weird way, he actually kind of missed therapy.

“That’s good.  If you don’t resolve this kind of thing, it turns into multiple Very Special Episodes, and next thing you know, it’s Blossom.  No one wants that.”

Jeff laughed.  “Yeah, I should probably save us from that.”

“Good.”  Abed gave Jeff a quick pat on the arm.  “Also, I’d prefer it if you didn’t almost die again.  Pierce _actually_ died, and that sets an alarming precedent.  We’re playing by Joss Whedon rules now.  Anyone can die.  We need to look out for each other.”

—-

“Hi,” said Annie.  “Ready to go home?”

“Yeah.”  Jeff checked his pockets.  “Wallets, keys, phone, I’m good to go.”

Annie slid her arm through Jeff’s.  “Good.  I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Me too.  I put a lot of effort into this body.  It’d be a shame to have it go to waste.”

They walked out of the room.

After a long moment, Annie said, “You’re not too old, you know.”

“Too old for what?”

“You know, life.  Happiness.  Opportunities.”  Annie leaned against Jeff. “You’ve got a lot of life left ahead of you, and I’d hate to see that go to waste.  You never know what wonderful things might happen next.  You could find a great new job, or…meet someone.”

“Yeah,” said Jeff. “I’ve gone from high-powered lawyer to incompetent community college teacher.  Life is just full of opportunities.”

“Look, I know what it’s like to get into a dark place where you feel like a failure and you don’t know how to cope and you don’t see any options.”

“You do?”  Jeff looked at Annie.  _Little Annie Adderall,_ he remembered.  “Yeah, I guess you do.”  He stopped and looked her in the face.  “Annie?  That time you ran through a glass door?  What exactly was…”

“Pretty much just freaking out.”  Annie looked down.  “I was at the end of high school, and I was kind of afraid that college would be this new system I didn’t know how to handle, and _really_ afraid it would be just like high school, only more.  And I was taking more and more pills, and I got jittery and angry and scared and I just felt like I needed to get away.  I wasn’t thinking about the door.  I didn’t even notice it until I was over the fence and collapsed from blood loss.  I just wanted to…not be there, trapped, and wasn’t thinking about what might happen.”

Jeff put his hands on her shoulder.  “Annie, I…”

“Anyway, I went to rehab, I got help, and I learned healthy coping skills and now I’m doing better.  Not totally fine, but a lot better than I used to be.”  She met his eyes.  “Jeff?  With the pills and the scotch, what were you really trying to do?”

“I, um…”  Jeff looked away.  “Pretty much what you said.  It kind of hit me that I was forty and a washed-up community college teacher, and I wasn’t likely to have a bunch of cool new professional opportunities fall into my lap.  I’d just get older, and less good-looking, and have less money, and my resume would get less impressive, and basically, I felt trapped.  I thought the pills would probably be harmless junk.  But then I started getting loopy and playing around with my old G.I. Joe toys and felt better than I had in a while.  I kept drinking because I wanted to keep feeling that way, and…I kind of didn’t care what the consequences would be.  It didn’t seem like anyone would miss me.”

“Oh, Jeff!”  Annie wrapped him in a tight hug  “I’d miss you.  I’d miss you so much.”

Jeff held onto Annie for as long as he could before letting go. 

“So,” he asked as they started walking again.  “Is this going to be weird forever?  People worrying about me?  Being weird.  Britta’s trying to find me a new therapist, Shirley offered to talk to me without brining Jesus into it, and Abed thinks I have worrying mental health problems.”

“Wow!”

“I know, right?” said Jeff.  “The thing is, I’m kind of hoping I didn’t mess up the group.  I want us to be able to go back to normal.  Or as normal as things get for us.”

“It’s okay.”  Annie put a hand on his shoulder.  “I don’t think it’ll be too weird.  We’ve all had problems, including some pretty serious ones.  And if you get help, I’ll try to be normal.  Deal?”

“Deal.  I’ll see a shrink, and you can stop worrying.”

“I can’t help worrying about you, Jeff,” said Annie.  “You’re important to me.”  She squeezed his shoulder.

“You’re important to me, too.”

—-

Jeff unlocked his front door.

“Jeffrey!”  The Dean rushed out and wrapped his arms around Jeff.  “You’re home!  I was so worried!  I was afraid you’d be stuck in a coma forever, and I’d have to come tend to you every day, feeding you soup and giving you sponge baths.”

“Please stop touching me.”

The Dean let go.  “My touch is too much to cope with right now, I can respect that.  So, what drove you to do something so desperate?   Was it some sort of inner weight, or dark secret, or repressed desire you couldn’t cope with?  Because if it was, I’m telling you right now that you should feel free to unburden yourself on me.  I can take it.”

“I’m fine,” said Jeff.  “I didn’t try to kill myself.  I had a bad reaction to some over-the-counter medication.  I should be back to work Monday morning.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay.  I’m thinking you must be feeling fragile this weekend, what with all you’ve been through, so if you need company, I’d be happy to stay with you all day, every day, or even at night.  Actually, any time you’re lonely in the middle of the night and want someone to stay over and talk about any forbidden passions with, call me.”  The Dean made a hand gesture.

Jeff smiled.  “That’s…kind of sweet, in a creepy way.  I wouldn’t invite you over in the middle of the night if I was being attacked by aliens whose only weakness was skinny bald men, but I appreciate the thought.  Thanks.”  He opened his door and stepped inside.  “See you Monday, unless I can somehow avoid it.”

“Oh, Jeffrey, don’t shut me out.” 

Jeff slammed the door in the Dean’s face.


End file.
